"We can always make more dollars but we can never make more
I could tell Valentine's Day was around the corner because of
the calls that I received on Sunday that started with: "Monique I know
you consult me on business issues but I really need some advice on
relationship stuff today."
In fact, there were several -- one client asked if mercury was
in retrograde? Another asked why all these romantic issues had to be so
difficult and painful.
"Love Stuff" was in the air on Sunday. I
spent most of the day with clients on the phone discussing things in the
romantic department. For clients who felt "funny" getting
consulted on these issues, I told them problems in the love
department can block one's business and professional goals, derail them
from their vision, and end up completely frustrated both in love and in
business. I find often times it is the personal stuff that gets the
business stuff blocked.
By the end of the day it all boiled down
to one particular theme that I would like to share with you.
came up with the metaphor for finding a good, healthy, solid
relationship: "It is like buying a house."
In this instance, we will replace buying a house with buying the
goods that this person is selling, which is this person's character, and
their physical and emotional well being, etc.
And instead of using dollars we will use time -- your time, the
time we have left here on earth. Time is not
My client "Susan" was upset that another
relationship had not worked out. A guy that she had been dating broke up
with her because he was still pining over an ex-girlfriend. And I said
to her, "This is a perfect opportunity for growth, and in fact what you
are seeing is really a reflection of you -- in other words, you are
just getting back in your life where you are. You are attracting
guys who are exactly in the same place as you."
For any of you
who are familiar with the Law Of Attraction or books such as "Ask and it
is Given" by Esther Hicks, the theory is that we attract into our lives
exactly where we are "at" and also what we believe we deserve.
We are the cause in the matter of our own lives and often have more
power than we realize.
I continued: "Listen to what you just said
to me. You said, YOU are still pining over so and so from a year
ago, so it makes since that this new guy who just broke up with you
because he is pining over his ex. He is just mirroring to you exactly
where you are. So you need to clean up, become clear and let go with
your past and where you are because you have attracted
in exactly the level of what you are vibrating out."
next step in this "house buying business" process is about commitment.
I also observed the following and told her, "You are sitting on the
fence about being committed. There is apart of you that wants to commit
but the other part of you does not want to miss out on other
opportunities. So you will attract in guys who are still into "other
opportunities" and are not willing to make a commitment yet."
here is the key. I advised her, "You've got to make a decision on what
you really want. Do you still want to keep dating or do you really want
to get married?"
Susan just bought a beautiful condo and had been living in a
tiny studio for four years where she didn't even have room to sneeze. I
reminded her that she once told me she felt like she would
never move out of the studio.
I told her, "This is like
when you decided to buy a condo. You committed to buying a condo. You
looked until you found exactly what you were looking for. You did not go
out one day look around and say "Oh, there is nothing out there, I will
stay where I am." It wasn't an option. You were ready to
(continued up top)....